Accept your emotions, good and bad. 

When negative feelings show up, you may want to hide them. But these emotions have important underlying messages.

Anger and frustration notify you of unfair or unsustainable conditions, such as having to give care late into the night when you have to work the next day. Fear arises from uncomfortable events colliding with limited resources, such as taking on medical duties when you aren’t a trained medial professional. Resentment stems from feeling unappreciated or trapped, such as being unable to attend important social events due to your caregiving duties. Guilt displays our genuine wish to treat others well, such as wanting to be more patient with your loved one but feeling time pressure.  

Recognizing what these emotions mean can help you identify potential boundaries.

Set boundaries according to your goals.

What will help you feel better in daily life? Make a list of healthy habits or a tangible goal to work toward. Then set up and communicate your boundary to keep yourself on track. Slowly but surely, you’ll be able to construct a more sustainable lifestyle. Here are some examples to get you started.

Reach out to others. 

Friends, family members, physicians, therapists, community groups and online support networks may not be in your shoes, but they have the resources and are willing to listen and work with you through tough situations.  They can provide you a break and a safe space to vent. Asking someone else for help is a great gift and can strengthen both your confidence and the connection between you. 

Supportiv can quickly connect you online with other caregivers who understand. So, no matter what you’re dealing with, you won’t feel so alone. This totally anonymous service is free to Costco employees.

It’s ok to politely say no.

When asked if you can do an extra assignment or take on another duty, think about whether you can handle it. If you hesitate for a second, then you should not be picking up new tasks. Saying no to someone is not rude or mean. It demonstrates that you know your limits.

Build community outside of your caregiving relationship.

Understand that you need a wide circle of support. Build a community that’s not just family, but also people from different parts of your life, such as coworkers, neighbors, and friends old and new. Expose yourself to people who make you laugh and lift you up. There’s no room for guilt when you fill the room with people who support you.